So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
