I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
third nipple confirmed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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