Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
