Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
