so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
