Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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