idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
