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Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
