nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
40s are totally the cure
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
