What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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