I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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