Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
