i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
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