your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
