i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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