Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
