Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize