What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
