That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize