She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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