our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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