after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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