Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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