I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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