I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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