even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
