i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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