I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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