Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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