I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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