guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
