you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
