he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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