She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
