hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
