god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize