I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
