i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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