More tranny stories later!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
