dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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