Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
