R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
