she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
