Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
