She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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