Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
