Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
