we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
