Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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