Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
