So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
