ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Houston, we have a blender
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
