HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize