So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
