So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
