I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
