apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
