Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
